A friend of mine told me the other day that when her child is sick and she needs to take a day off work (because of course it is she who takes the day off work, not her husband) that it is easier for her to tell her boss that her washing machine has broken than to admit that her child is sick and she needs to take care of him.
Years ago some friends took me to a comedy club in London for my birthday, and we found ourselves in the company of a gathering of men from Fathers 4 Justice. (Does that organisation still exist? If not, do you remember it? It was a bunch of men who dressed as superheroes and performed stunts like climbing onto Buckingham Palace to try to persuade the courts to give them greater access to their children...) After the gig we all got chatting, and I remember thinking that this odious bunch of entitled, bitter, misogynistic man-children should be kept as far away from kids as possible. There wasn't a nurturing air about any of them, just an ominous sense that there were no limits to what they'd do to enact revenge on the women who'd dared to walk away from them.
I get that same air from Elon Musk. The White House is his Buckingham Palace, and his kid is the superhero prop he's using to gain attention. The terrifying difference is that he's not having to break in. He's being invited to use the world's highest office to broadcast his misogyny. And sadly, if we keep following this trajectory, the kid currently telling the president to shut his mouth and go away has every chance of ending up in the hot seat in the Oval Office himself. And yes, the actual woman who birthed this child, who seems to be crying out for access to him, has been deemed irrelevant. This is truly terrifying stuff.
I wish it was a message to men to take their parental responsibilities seriously. A positive move by a man showing the juggle of work and childcare. I think we all know that's unlikely to be the case. I actually find it really chilling. It makes me feel very uncomfortable. My worst fear is that it's the sending of a message (threat) to women, in particular mothers. Although I guess it's most likely just a latest play thing idea in the funhouse of horrors. Thank you. I've tentatively lined up the podcast to listen to.
Hi Nelly, I agree with you, it's most likely just a gimmick, it means nothing, apparently many commentators just believe his son is being used to 'soften' his appearance but I, like you, find it more chilling than that. It feels more of a power play, whether that is to all women, or just one in particular. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
I don't have much to add on the court stories, but I do have a story to tell on the inequality side. When my maternity leave was coming to its end, to be exact 2 days before I was due to go back to work, I had a call from my boss to tell me my position was no longer needed in the business. It was in fact illegal for them to let someone go during maternity leave so they were very careful around wording, but effectively I was made redundant as the primary bill payer in the house, leaving me with a newborn, houseful bills and credit card bills to pay without a decent income. My husband was able to cover the daily bills and family and friends helped, but that was a tough year before I found a new full time job. I choose to look at it now as a much better job and of course it was lovely to spend my daughter's first 12 months as a stay at home parent. But still, men making decisions without any care to the employee, after 12 years of employment.... definitely not parity and equality there unfortunately.
Regarding your observation that women’s careers suffer upon becoming mothers, it is not merely the case that men’s careers remain unaffected … heterosexual men who become husbands and fathers actually earn more than all other men. Their careers benefit from married parenthood!
Musk isn’t a devoted father to his trans-child so I seriously doubt his motives towards any of his many children. He is driven by self interest in my opinion and I suspect this little one is just a political prop, that benefits Trump too
Years ago some friends took me to a comedy club in London for my birthday, and we found ourselves in the company of a gathering of men from Fathers 4 Justice. (Does that organisation still exist? If not, do you remember it? It was a bunch of men who dressed as superheroes and performed stunts like climbing onto Buckingham Palace to try to persuade the courts to give them greater access to their children...) After the gig we all got chatting, and I remember thinking that this odious bunch of entitled, bitter, misogynistic man-children should be kept as far away from kids as possible. There wasn't a nurturing air about any of them, just an ominous sense that there were no limits to what they'd do to enact revenge on the women who'd dared to walk away from them.
I get that same air from Elon Musk. The White House is his Buckingham Palace, and his kid is the superhero prop he's using to gain attention. The terrifying difference is that he's not having to break in. He's being invited to use the world's highest office to broadcast his misogyny. And sadly, if we keep following this trajectory, the kid currently telling the president to shut his mouth and go away has every chance of ending up in the hot seat in the Oval Office himself. And yes, the actual woman who birthed this child, who seems to be crying out for access to him, has been deemed irrelevant. This is truly terrifying stuff.
Absolutely Michelle, it’s horrifying. And I do remember Fathers 4 Justice, and what you say about them does not surprise me.
I wish it was a message to men to take their parental responsibilities seriously. A positive move by a man showing the juggle of work and childcare. I think we all know that's unlikely to be the case. I actually find it really chilling. It makes me feel very uncomfortable. My worst fear is that it's the sending of a message (threat) to women, in particular mothers. Although I guess it's most likely just a latest play thing idea in the funhouse of horrors. Thank you. I've tentatively lined up the podcast to listen to.
Hi Nelly, I agree with you, it's most likely just a gimmick, it means nothing, apparently many commentators just believe his son is being used to 'soften' his appearance but I, like you, find it more chilling than that. It feels more of a power play, whether that is to all women, or just one in particular. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
I don't have much to add on the court stories, but I do have a story to tell on the inequality side. When my maternity leave was coming to its end, to be exact 2 days before I was due to go back to work, I had a call from my boss to tell me my position was no longer needed in the business. It was in fact illegal for them to let someone go during maternity leave so they were very careful around wording, but effectively I was made redundant as the primary bill payer in the house, leaving me with a newborn, houseful bills and credit card bills to pay without a decent income. My husband was able to cover the daily bills and family and friends helped, but that was a tough year before I found a new full time job. I choose to look at it now as a much better job and of course it was lovely to spend my daughter's first 12 months as a stay at home parent. But still, men making decisions without any care to the employee, after 12 years of employment.... definitely not parity and equality there unfortunately.
So awful, but not unheard of.
Regarding your observation that women’s careers suffer upon becoming mothers, it is not merely the case that men’s careers remain unaffected … heterosexual men who become husbands and fathers actually earn more than all other men. Their careers benefit from married parenthood!
Incredible!
Musk isn’t a devoted father to his trans-child so I seriously doubt his motives towards any of his many children. He is driven by self interest in my opinion and I suspect this little one is just a political prop, that benefits Trump too
I’m not sure many of his kids are that keen from what I’ve read, though who knows? 😬
Who would blame them if they’re not 😄 I do worry for this little one and his mother. Truly awful role models for him to be around