life is spooky - I was thinking about Wendy driving in to work this morning. We worked together as Lived Experience Advisors for Dementia UK for a number of years. My husband died from young onset dementia 6 months before Wendy died. He was not as cognitively aware as Wendy and I always valued her insights to help me understand and support my husband. She had such impact on everyone. I am 3/4 though writing a book as a way to cope with all the feelings - maybe this is my sign to bloody finish it! Whether anyone ever gets to see it is rather beside the point x
I think this is your sign, Hannah! If you knew Wendy, you will know that she would be encouraging us all along in our hopes and dreams, so yes, take it as a sign to get that book finished! Good luck with it, and if you need help then the White Ink community are here for you 💪🏻✨… and I’m sorry to hear of the loss you experienced, too.
Anna, this is so poignant. I hear the hammer. I have a dear friend in the US working on this issue. She’s a death doula and her own mother chose VSED in 2023. Please message me if interested in connecting with her. There may be more interest in the story in the US? But so important to tell it. Peace.
This is a beautiful post. It made me cry and touched in many ways. I hope you get to write the book about you and Wendy - I went to see her at an event in Sheffield a few years ago and she was inspirational.
Oh thank you Nicola, and sorry to make you cry. But it's nice to remember, Wendy, isn't it? She touched so many people in life, and I'd like to think she will continue to do that in death. Thank you for reading.
Such a beautiful, poignant post Anna. What an incredible friendship you had with Wendy, this absolutely needs writing about. The angle of friendships across generations and ones that stem from a working relationship is fascinating and something many people will enjoy reading. The dementia angle is another big draw.
Since my sister died aged 17 and my father was brain damaged at the same time, Christmas has always had an undercurrent of sadness woven through the tinsel; I’ve had that “hammer” throughout my life. But we try and make that hammer positive by celebrating her and my father, and those who are still alive. Our own kind of Thanksgiving. Hope you can enjoy Christmas knowing Wendy is with you…
Thank you for sharing Siobhan, and I’m sorry for all that you have been through. I do think that hammer is a positive thing, often it’s only when something tragic happens that we value the present but it’s something we can all benefit from doing everyday, as you well know. Wishing you a merry Christmas 🎄❤️
Eleven years ago on Christmas Day I had a heart transplant and it changed how I viewed life forever. Not in an evangelical, every day is a gift kind of way (although it is and that approach is perfectly valid) but in an appreciation of how precious and short our time here is. I’ve always, on a whole, been a glass half full person and Christmas has always been my favourite time of year. But my long illness and subsequent transplant made me acutely aware of the how things change for worse and better. Every Christmas since my operation my husband and I raise a glass in gratitude and in memory of my donor and those who loved them. I’m sorry for your loss but happy for you and your daughter for all the incredible memories you and Wendy created. I hope Christmas treats you kindly. Thank you for writing such a beautiful post.
I’m sorry for your loss Anna. What an amazing relationship you had with Wendy.
This is such a lovely piece, refreshing to me after all the Christmas posts I’ve read recently. Thank you for writing it. Lots of resonance for me as I face my first Christmas without my mum and try to find a way of writing about her and my story. And listen out for those signs! Your book sounds great - I’m looking forward to reading it. Have a lovely, different Christmas x
Thank you Sasha, I’m glad it spoke to you. I hope you manage to find some sparkle in this year’s Christmas too, albeit one that looks very different ✨❤️🎄
life is spooky - I was thinking about Wendy driving in to work this morning. We worked together as Lived Experience Advisors for Dementia UK for a number of years. My husband died from young onset dementia 6 months before Wendy died. He was not as cognitively aware as Wendy and I always valued her insights to help me understand and support my husband. She had such impact on everyone. I am 3/4 though writing a book as a way to cope with all the feelings - maybe this is my sign to bloody finish it! Whether anyone ever gets to see it is rather beside the point x
I think this is your sign, Hannah! If you knew Wendy, you will know that she would be encouraging us all along in our hopes and dreams, so yes, take it as a sign to get that book finished! Good luck with it, and if you need help then the White Ink community are here for you 💪🏻✨… and I’m sorry to hear of the loss you experienced, too.
Anna, this is so poignant. I hear the hammer. I have a dear friend in the US working on this issue. She’s a death doula and her own mother chose VSED in 2023. Please message me if interested in connecting with her. There may be more interest in the story in the US? But so important to tell it. Peace.
Thank you so much, Alecia. I’m pleased this piece spoke to you and that you hear the hammer. 🙏🏼❤️
I do so hope you get to write this book, Anna - you have a ready made audience!
Thanks Sue! It does feel that way. X
This is a beautiful post. It made me cry and touched in many ways. I hope you get to write the book about you and Wendy - I went to see her at an event in Sheffield a few years ago and she was inspirational.
Oh thank you Nicola, and sorry to make you cry. But it's nice to remember, Wendy, isn't it? She touched so many people in life, and I'd like to think she will continue to do that in death. Thank you for reading.
Such a beautiful, poignant post Anna. What an incredible friendship you had with Wendy, this absolutely needs writing about. The angle of friendships across generations and ones that stem from a working relationship is fascinating and something many people will enjoy reading. The dementia angle is another big draw.
Since my sister died aged 17 and my father was brain damaged at the same time, Christmas has always had an undercurrent of sadness woven through the tinsel; I’ve had that “hammer” throughout my life. But we try and make that hammer positive by celebrating her and my father, and those who are still alive. Our own kind of Thanksgiving. Hope you can enjoy Christmas knowing Wendy is with you…
Thank you for sharing Siobhan, and I’m sorry for all that you have been through. I do think that hammer is a positive thing, often it’s only when something tragic happens that we value the present but it’s something we can all benefit from doing everyday, as you well know. Wishing you a merry Christmas 🎄❤️
I have always thought friendships that transcend age are special - not only were you lucky to have Wendy in your life but she was lucky to have you.
Yes, we both agreed we were lucky to have met each other 🥰
Eleven years ago on Christmas Day I had a heart transplant and it changed how I viewed life forever. Not in an evangelical, every day is a gift kind of way (although it is and that approach is perfectly valid) but in an appreciation of how precious and short our time here is. I’ve always, on a whole, been a glass half full person and Christmas has always been my favourite time of year. But my long illness and subsequent transplant made me acutely aware of the how things change for worse and better. Every Christmas since my operation my husband and I raise a glass in gratitude and in memory of my donor and those who loved them. I’m sorry for your loss but happy for you and your daughter for all the incredible memories you and Wendy created. I hope Christmas treats you kindly. Thank you for writing such a beautiful post.
Oh wow Angela, thank you for sharing a little of your story here. How wonderful, and how moving. Thank you for reading. Happy Christmas to you ❤️🎄
I’m sorry for your loss Anna. What an amazing relationship you had with Wendy.
This is such a lovely piece, refreshing to me after all the Christmas posts I’ve read recently. Thank you for writing it. Lots of resonance for me as I face my first Christmas without my mum and try to find a way of writing about her and my story. And listen out for those signs! Your book sounds great - I’m looking forward to reading it. Have a lovely, different Christmas x
Thank you Sasha, I’m glad it spoke to you. I hope you manage to find some sparkle in this year’s Christmas too, albeit one that looks very different ✨❤️🎄