I think I remember this piece coming out!! I certainly recall whole heartedly embracing the ethos of using words like ‘strong’ in place of ‘pretty’, but over the years I changed my mind. I find my daughter’s heart achingly beautiful inside and out and I found I couldn’t stop myself from saying it. Perhaps it’s because I feel that ‘beautiful’ does convey much more depth than ‘pretty’, and infers the whole of them rather than the surface exterior. I kind of ‘reclaimed’ the fact that they can own and feel proud of their beauty, inner and outer, but it’s a delicate balance in our image obsessed culture. What I have noticed, as they reach 15 and 17, is that they both have healthy body images, they don’t aspire to ‘thin’, they appreciate the parts of their exterior selves that they like (including their faces!!) as well as the facets of their personalities that they have become comfortable with. Sure, they have days where they feel wretched, we all do, but I think their perception of what ‘beauty’ is, is far more encompassing, accepting and inclusive than it was when I was that age. Perhaps there’s even something to thank TikTok for!! Such an interesting conversation 💕🙏
So good to hear your thoughts, Emma. I shan’t say too much now about how I’ve handled this over the last seven years, but of course I agree with you that beautiful doesn’t need to be only skin deep. It’s about embracing the whole, isn’t it? Sounds like your kids have found the right balance.
The Tik Tok effect is interesting. I hadn’t thought about it until a friend mentioned it in conversation yesterday. We were chatting about our teenage daughters, false eye lashes & fake tan and what we felt was their ‘love me, warts and all’ approach to their physical selves and body/image confidence. We were in awe of them & agreed we didn’t have half their confidence at their age.
yes!! It has really changed!! They seem to genuinely champion all body shapes and sizes and differences (except, of course, if I vaguely suggest getting a hair cut 🤣), but they seem to 'own' their looks in a much more positive way? x
I feel conflicted over this, I have to admit. I grew up with neither parent ever saying I was pretty (admittedly, I wasn’t a very pretty child!) and honestly I think it fed into my desire (such a deep/rooted desire) to prove to them, and everyone else, that indeed I was (am!) pretty. So I do tell my daughter she’s pretty. AND I tell her she’s smart, and caring, and kind and all the other wonderful things she is. Because that’s the point, isn’t it? That we, as women, are nuanced - capable of being both pretty AND smart. Pretty AND strong. Pretty AND whatever else we are. For me, I wish I’d heard occasionally that I was pretty, because now, as an adult, it’s trickier to believe.
It’s so interesting, isn’t it Anna? So much of how we feel about this is informed by our own experiences. My mum always told me I was pretty but I never believed her. I feel so bad about that now, refusing a compliment is like someone giving you a present and you giving it back. You are absolutely right though that it is a balance — as is everything in life. Anyway, I shall write in part two next week whether I still stand by those words in The Times!
Looking forward to reading it! And yes, it is complicated, I can totally understand and appreciate your thinking. I’d love to think my daughter can grow up confident that her value doesn’t lie solely with her looks. But unfortunately, some of all of our value does, and I want to give her the tools to feel confident in ALL of her power. If that makes sense! X
I have two boys (now adults). I don’t remember commenting to them about their looks as they were growing up. Maybe if they were wearing special clothing to a shindig I’d say “you look nice.” If I had girls instead of boys, I hope I would have done the same thing.
That said, children are perceptive. If a parent thinks the most important thing is academic success or good looks or athletic prowess, our kids will know. The trick isn’t just saying (or not saying) the right words. It’s being the kind of person that truly values what’s important vs pretending to value what’s important.
Parenting is IMPOSSIBLE, Dan! Interesting to hear your thoughts having raised two boys. If we raise boys without commenting on their looks, and we raise girls differently, which I think we do, then it’s no wonder that women are so determined to hang on to the thing that has brought them the most attention, and also assess themselves as a person via their looks.
One of the things I noticed as my kids were growing up was what happened as their bodies grew. Boys wanted to enjoy their growing bodies—they were stronger and faster and bigger than they had been just a year earlier. They wanted to enjoy those changes—and good for them! And yes, there were boys who were small, bad athletes, etc. and needed to figure out how to relate to that. So it’s not like everyone was having a good time all the time.
Girls were also stronger faster and bigger. But with that came something else. They were sexualized in a way that boys weren’t. I mean, the boys were growing sexually too—but older women didn’t lose their brains when they walked into a room. With girls, older men (from older teenagers on up) got all caught up in the girls’ bodies and appearances. And older women (peers, teenagers, and older) tended to reinforce this—helping the girls “make the most” of their looks. This happened a little bit with boys but nowhere near the same scale.
For boys, I think it was more about what their bodies were capable of DOING. For girls, I think it was a lot about how their bodies were PERCEIVED.
This stuff is hard. As a parent, you can’t control the messages about appearance that come at your kids from the outside. All you can do is help them navigate the terrain. And you can give them the messages about appearances that you think will serve them as they grow.
Very true, Dan, and this DOING versus BEING plays out into adulthood as most images (can’t remember the exact research) of women in the media are them just simply posing whereas most images of men are action shots. Or they were last time I looked at the research.
One of the first full sentences my daughter said to me was “I love your hair” - she stroked it as she said it. She says it often. She feels love for my hair and I do for hers. When she cups her hands around my face to fall asleep I feel so loved by her - it’s super special - I want that for her too. I tell her she’s beautiful all the time - it just spills out of me. I’m not sure about the word pretty as a word… I don’t think it suits either of us. She is wild and sure of herself and I am quiet and 42. Super interesting piece. ✨❤️
As a primary school teacher (currently on a child-raising break!), I am so delighted to read these words. What we say to children, at such a formative time for their worldviews, hugely impacts the way that they interact with each other as they grow up. We have to be so careful! Do we want them to feel valued for their looks (which can and will change over time), or do we want them to feel valued for their strengths, character and achievements? It's such a challenge.
Although I agree with your perspective in this piece, I do tell my little boy that he's handsome - because I can't help myself and I don't mind him thinking that his mummy knows he's a handsome boy. But I totally respect your approach and celebrate it too, and I try so hard to also celebrate him when he unlocks a new skill, or tries hard with something, or is kind and gentle.
I’ve always emphasized a whole list of qualities when complimenting my girls. I do throw in a you’re beautiful every now and then. For me, I was comforted by the fact that I was told I was beautiful when I was young. Of course society’s gaze still did a number on me, but I have been consciously reassured by the echoes of my mother’s voice. Now as I approach middle age, body acceptance feels a bit harder, but I’m wiser and more self aware and confident as a teen. More able to see my mother’s words are still correct even if my looks have aged.
I was thinking about this… our bodies changing as we age and wondering how we can embrace that, as we perhaps embraced our bodies changing as we got pregnant … although not everyone feels that way when they’re pregnant 🤔
Interesting Sarah, I am sure that they would receive that compliment in the way you intended, and so maybe it’s not so much the word but what that word means to the person who is using it.
So okay, I don’t know if I am quite with you. Whilst I agree with you to an extent, it’s not a hard-agree. With R&M, I tell them they are beautiful, (‘pretty’ just isn’t a word of mine). I think it resonates with R and M just likes hearing it often, because she’s a compliment-gal. It never phases me to say it openly, neither do I think twice. However, I am more careful with other people’s little girls. I read once to always ask a female child ‘what she’s reading’ before you comment on her dress or shoes, and I try to stick to that. I think I have. I’ve noticed some mums find it peculiar but I totally get the sentiment. With my own girls, appearance definitely isn’t an insignificance. I want them to ‘enjoy’ the positives that come with beauty, I mean why shouldn’t they? And Ruby finds my Botox hilarious, ‘Go on, Mum - try and frown,’ so I mean - there’s no hiding in the shadows. I don’t know if it’s a liberal life step too far for me to subtract looks from well, everything. But I’ll think about it. I always do.
I kind of agree and I kind of don't. I have a very pretty daughter, and I think it would be dishonest to not acknowledge this. But she is also feisty and talented, independent minded... Having said this, the sad reality is that all our girls compare themselves to others because how can they not when they are surrounded by images of girls on social media, with all their followers, and popularity? My daughter has a misaligned jaw and it's been important for me to remind her that even if her face isn't totally symmetrical, she is gorgeous, and I would worry that if I didn't tell her this, the gremlins of comparison might get the better of her. I agree that the emphasis shouldn't be on looks, but the reality is that they live in a world where there is so much emphasis on looks. It's like this for boys as well. My son is bombarded with images of men with buff bodies who drink protein shakes and take steriods!
Ah we knew for a while this was coming for the boys too, poor things. Yes our children grow up in a more body conscious world these days, however perhaps that is balanced out by the types of conversations they are also able to have around mental health. Perhaps it all evens itself out somehow.
I wonder, as women who write our lives and therefore our family lives, about revisiting things we wrote a while ago. Wonder whether what we wrote then still stands now. I am appalled by the stats you refer to here, and know it'll be worse now, Anna.
I have two girls, 12 and 9, both OBSESSED by skincare and makeup. I also brought them up in charity shop unisex clothes and haven't ever talked to them directly about their looks, but I know they've absorbed my interest in skin, makeup and hair, AND that they believe looking good is really important. I continue to challenge that, focusing on strength, fitness, feeling healthy and happy in our bodies and so on, but the messaging elsewhere is pervasive. Looking forward to part two...
Thanks Lindsay, yes, I’m also looking forward to ruminating over the next few days on how much I stuck to what I said then and how much this might have influenced my daughter. I suspect, when I ask her, I’m going to get much the same response from her as I did when she was four… but she shall see!!
As a man I inevitably view any woman with inflated lips and / or stiff cheeks as both sad and gullible, especially younger women / girls in their twenties or early thirties (some still think of themselves as girls - their prerogative). And then there are inflated or ‘enhanced’ breasts and buttocks…. Why? What a waste of money donate it to a worthwhile charity instead for heavens sake. If it’s just to hopefully please men then they need to up their standards.
To describe anyone as “pretty” as so vacuous - I’d expect to get my face slapped if I said that at to any woman.
Unfortunately, yes. A sad indictment of both sexes. The widespread availability for children to watch porn, especially boys, will probably make things worse.
I don’t care about the men, I say, but I probably should. I never told my daughter she was pretty either. I may be overlearn that lesson, and would tease that, :” with a dress like that, you could do amazing things in math! “Truly, I said that. I thought my husband shouldn’t constantly say she was pretty either and I’ve since decided he was right to build her confidence that way as her dad it’s not the only compliment he gave her for sure. WE read “ The paper bag, princess where the heroine slays, the fire, eating dragon for the dumb prince who tells her she no longer looks good with her hair all singed. She storms off and is very happy.
Oh I used to LOVE reading The Paperbag Princess to my daughter! I also bought her He Bear, She Bear — I don’t know if you know/remember that one.
I love your comment about the dress, Joanne, and as I said in my piece, I didn’t stop my mum or her father telling her she was pretty, because like you I felt she needed to hear it from someone. BUT if I was going to give her a compliment, it was unlikely to be one focused on her looks.
Oh this is a brilliant piece. I’m inspired to write a response! As a mother of four daughters I tread this path every day, have watched people’s reactions with a mixture of horror and anxiety when they see my four little blonde girls. And everything is coloured by our own experiences of growing up under the male gaze. Can’t wait for part 2 x
It's a minefield, all this. I don't have kids but am aware of the emphasis placed on physical appearance, which is as old as the hills. I'm 50 now but when I was at school I was always being told I was ugly and fat (those specific words) because I was tall for my age and had started menstruating at nine. I was full of shame. At Sixth Form and Uni it was no issue, but when I became a teacher I saw it happening all over again. In the context of something I was teaching, I do remember saying to classes that all young people are beautiful, whether they think they are or not, simply because of their potential and wholesomeness. They looked at me as though I was mad, and I could tell they weren't really buying it. But I have never forgotten the lines from "Everybody's Free (to wear sunscreen): "Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth, oh, never mind
You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth
Until they've faded, but trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back
At photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now
How much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked
You are not as fat as you imagine"
Who of us doesn't look at photos of ourselves when we were young and think we didn't look so bad after all?
So so true, Anita. Thanks for sharing those words. Funny when you say the kids in class weren’t buying it! 😆… I remember my mum telling me how she spent her whole life looking back at photographs and thinking she looked beautiful, but never thinking it at the time the photo was taken. I thought that was really sad and vowed not to do the same — but of course I did!!!
I think I remember this piece coming out!! I certainly recall whole heartedly embracing the ethos of using words like ‘strong’ in place of ‘pretty’, but over the years I changed my mind. I find my daughter’s heart achingly beautiful inside and out and I found I couldn’t stop myself from saying it. Perhaps it’s because I feel that ‘beautiful’ does convey much more depth than ‘pretty’, and infers the whole of them rather than the surface exterior. I kind of ‘reclaimed’ the fact that they can own and feel proud of their beauty, inner and outer, but it’s a delicate balance in our image obsessed culture. What I have noticed, as they reach 15 and 17, is that they both have healthy body images, they don’t aspire to ‘thin’, they appreciate the parts of their exterior selves that they like (including their faces!!) as well as the facets of their personalities that they have become comfortable with. Sure, they have days where they feel wretched, we all do, but I think their perception of what ‘beauty’ is, is far more encompassing, accepting and inclusive than it was when I was that age. Perhaps there’s even something to thank TikTok for!! Such an interesting conversation 💕🙏
So good to hear your thoughts, Emma. I shan’t say too much now about how I’ve handled this over the last seven years, but of course I agree with you that beautiful doesn’t need to be only skin deep. It’s about embracing the whole, isn’t it? Sounds like your kids have found the right balance.
The Tik Tok effect is interesting. I hadn’t thought about it until a friend mentioned it in conversation yesterday. We were chatting about our teenage daughters, false eye lashes & fake tan and what we felt was their ‘love me, warts and all’ approach to their physical selves and body/image confidence. We were in awe of them & agreed we didn’t have half their confidence at their age.
This is very encouraging to hear!
yes!! It has really changed!! They seem to genuinely champion all body shapes and sizes and differences (except, of course, if I vaguely suggest getting a hair cut 🤣), but they seem to 'own' their looks in a much more positive way? x
As the mother of a child who is probably on TikTok as I type, this is encouraging to hear!
I feel conflicted over this, I have to admit. I grew up with neither parent ever saying I was pretty (admittedly, I wasn’t a very pretty child!) and honestly I think it fed into my desire (such a deep/rooted desire) to prove to them, and everyone else, that indeed I was (am!) pretty. So I do tell my daughter she’s pretty. AND I tell her she’s smart, and caring, and kind and all the other wonderful things she is. Because that’s the point, isn’t it? That we, as women, are nuanced - capable of being both pretty AND smart. Pretty AND strong. Pretty AND whatever else we are. For me, I wish I’d heard occasionally that I was pretty, because now, as an adult, it’s trickier to believe.
It’s so interesting, isn’t it Anna? So much of how we feel about this is informed by our own experiences. My mum always told me I was pretty but I never believed her. I feel so bad about that now, refusing a compliment is like someone giving you a present and you giving it back. You are absolutely right though that it is a balance — as is everything in life. Anyway, I shall write in part two next week whether I still stand by those words in The Times!
Looking forward to reading it! And yes, it is complicated, I can totally understand and appreciate your thinking. I’d love to think my daughter can grow up confident that her value doesn’t lie solely with her looks. But unfortunately, some of all of our value does, and I want to give her the tools to feel confident in ALL of her power. If that makes sense! X
Yes absolutely, but as I shall reveal in part two… well, I’ll save it for now 😉
I have two boys (now adults). I don’t remember commenting to them about their looks as they were growing up. Maybe if they were wearing special clothing to a shindig I’d say “you look nice.” If I had girls instead of boys, I hope I would have done the same thing.
That said, children are perceptive. If a parent thinks the most important thing is academic success or good looks or athletic prowess, our kids will know. The trick isn’t just saying (or not saying) the right words. It’s being the kind of person that truly values what’s important vs pretending to value what’s important.
Parenting is hard.
Parenting is IMPOSSIBLE, Dan! Interesting to hear your thoughts having raised two boys. If we raise boys without commenting on their looks, and we raise girls differently, which I think we do, then it’s no wonder that women are so determined to hang on to the thing that has brought them the most attention, and also assess themselves as a person via their looks.
One of the things I noticed as my kids were growing up was what happened as their bodies grew. Boys wanted to enjoy their growing bodies—they were stronger and faster and bigger than they had been just a year earlier. They wanted to enjoy those changes—and good for them! And yes, there were boys who were small, bad athletes, etc. and needed to figure out how to relate to that. So it’s not like everyone was having a good time all the time.
Girls were also stronger faster and bigger. But with that came something else. They were sexualized in a way that boys weren’t. I mean, the boys were growing sexually too—but older women didn’t lose their brains when they walked into a room. With girls, older men (from older teenagers on up) got all caught up in the girls’ bodies and appearances. And older women (peers, teenagers, and older) tended to reinforce this—helping the girls “make the most” of their looks. This happened a little bit with boys but nowhere near the same scale.
For boys, I think it was more about what their bodies were capable of DOING. For girls, I think it was a lot about how their bodies were PERCEIVED.
This stuff is hard. As a parent, you can’t control the messages about appearance that come at your kids from the outside. All you can do is help them navigate the terrain. And you can give them the messages about appearances that you think will serve them as they grow.
Very true, Dan, and this DOING versus BEING plays out into adulthood as most images (can’t remember the exact research) of women in the media are them just simply posing whereas most images of men are action shots. Or they were last time I looked at the research.
One of the first full sentences my daughter said to me was “I love your hair” - she stroked it as she said it. She says it often. She feels love for my hair and I do for hers. When she cups her hands around my face to fall asleep I feel so loved by her - it’s super special - I want that for her too. I tell her she’s beautiful all the time - it just spills out of me. I’m not sure about the word pretty as a word… I don’t think it suits either of us. She is wild and sure of herself and I am quiet and 42. Super interesting piece. ✨❤️
This is lovely, Claire.
As a primary school teacher (currently on a child-raising break!), I am so delighted to read these words. What we say to children, at such a formative time for their worldviews, hugely impacts the way that they interact with each other as they grow up. We have to be so careful! Do we want them to feel valued for their looks (which can and will change over time), or do we want them to feel valued for their strengths, character and achievements? It's such a challenge.
Although I agree with your perspective in this piece, I do tell my little boy that he's handsome - because I can't help myself and I don't mind him thinking that his mummy knows he's a handsome boy. But I totally respect your approach and celebrate it too, and I try so hard to also celebrate him when he unlocks a new skill, or tries hard with something, or is kind and gentle.
Thank you for sharing this, Anna!
Thank you Holly! Though in part two I will reveal whether I stuck to my intention
I can’t wait to read it 🥰
I’ve always emphasized a whole list of qualities when complimenting my girls. I do throw in a you’re beautiful every now and then. For me, I was comforted by the fact that I was told I was beautiful when I was young. Of course society’s gaze still did a number on me, but I have been consciously reassured by the echoes of my mother’s voice. Now as I approach middle age, body acceptance feels a bit harder, but I’m wiser and more self aware and confident as a teen. More able to see my mother’s words are still correct even if my looks have aged.
I was thinking about this… our bodies changing as we age and wondering how we can embrace that, as we perhaps embraced our bodies changing as we got pregnant … although not everyone feels that way when they’re pregnant 🤔
I think the only thing I have ever called pretty was a flower! It’s such a flimsy word. And so subjective.
I tell my daughter she is gorgeous, but I also tell my sons, and my granddaughter and my grandsons that they are gorgeous.
Because they are.
In a holistic sense - inside and out.
Nothing to do with any inherited genetics that define their physical features, but in a wholesome beauty that shines through their eyes.
I hope my quirky 8 year old granddaughter can hold her own and hold her her own gorgeousness in a world that values “pretty” as a redeeming feature.
Interesting Sarah, I am sure that they would receive that compliment in the way you intended, and so maybe it’s not so much the word but what that word means to the person who is using it.
As always, excuse typos! 😂
So okay, I don’t know if I am quite with you. Whilst I agree with you to an extent, it’s not a hard-agree. With R&M, I tell them they are beautiful, (‘pretty’ just isn’t a word of mine). I think it resonates with R and M just likes hearing it often, because she’s a compliment-gal. It never phases me to say it openly, neither do I think twice. However, I am more careful with other people’s little girls. I read once to always ask a female child ‘what she’s reading’ before you comment on her dress or shoes, and I try to stick to that. I think I have. I’ve noticed some mums find it peculiar but I totally get the sentiment. With my own girls, appearance definitely isn’t an insignificance. I want them to ‘enjoy’ the positives that come with beauty, I mean why shouldn’t they? And Ruby finds my Botox hilarious, ‘Go on, Mum - try and frown,’ so I mean - there’s no hiding in the shadows. I don’t know if it’s a liberal life step too far for me to subtract looks from well, everything. But I’ll think about it. I always do.
I love that you ask what they’re reading first… though dread to think what gracie would say !
I kind of agree and I kind of don't. I have a very pretty daughter, and I think it would be dishonest to not acknowledge this. But she is also feisty and talented, independent minded... Having said this, the sad reality is that all our girls compare themselves to others because how can they not when they are surrounded by images of girls on social media, with all their followers, and popularity? My daughter has a misaligned jaw and it's been important for me to remind her that even if her face isn't totally symmetrical, she is gorgeous, and I would worry that if I didn't tell her this, the gremlins of comparison might get the better of her. I agree that the emphasis shouldn't be on looks, but the reality is that they live in a world where there is so much emphasis on looks. It's like this for boys as well. My son is bombarded with images of men with buff bodies who drink protein shakes and take steriods!
Ah we knew for a while this was coming for the boys too, poor things. Yes our children grow up in a more body conscious world these days, however perhaps that is balanced out by the types of conversations they are also able to have around mental health. Perhaps it all evens itself out somehow.
I wonder, as women who write our lives and therefore our family lives, about revisiting things we wrote a while ago. Wonder whether what we wrote then still stands now. I am appalled by the stats you refer to here, and know it'll be worse now, Anna.
I have two girls, 12 and 9, both OBSESSED by skincare and makeup. I also brought them up in charity shop unisex clothes and haven't ever talked to them directly about their looks, but I know they've absorbed my interest in skin, makeup and hair, AND that they believe looking good is really important. I continue to challenge that, focusing on strength, fitness, feeling healthy and happy in our bodies and so on, but the messaging elsewhere is pervasive. Looking forward to part two...
Thanks Lindsay, yes, I’m also looking forward to ruminating over the next few days on how much I stuck to what I said then and how much this might have influenced my daughter. I suspect, when I ask her, I’m going to get much the same response from her as I did when she was four… but she shall see!!
As a man I inevitably view any woman with inflated lips and / or stiff cheeks as both sad and gullible, especially younger women / girls in their twenties or early thirties (some still think of themselves as girls - their prerogative). And then there are inflated or ‘enhanced’ breasts and buttocks…. Why? What a waste of money donate it to a worthwhile charity instead for heavens sake. If it’s just to hopefully please men then they need to up their standards.
To describe anyone as “pretty” as so vacuous - I’d expect to get my face slapped if I said that at to any woman.
Sadly, I think some men enjoy that manufactured look, otherwise there wouldn’t be a market for it, Ronnie…
Unfortunately, yes. A sad indictment of both sexes. The widespread availability for children to watch porn, especially boys, will probably make things worse.
I don’t care about the men, I say, but I probably should. I never told my daughter she was pretty either. I may be overlearn that lesson, and would tease that, :” with a dress like that, you could do amazing things in math! “Truly, I said that. I thought my husband shouldn’t constantly say she was pretty either and I’ve since decided he was right to build her confidence that way as her dad it’s not the only compliment he gave her for sure. WE read “ The paper bag, princess where the heroine slays, the fire, eating dragon for the dumb prince who tells her she no longer looks good with her hair all singed. She storms off and is very happy.
Oh I used to LOVE reading The Paperbag Princess to my daughter! I also bought her He Bear, She Bear — I don’t know if you know/remember that one.
I love your comment about the dress, Joanne, and as I said in my piece, I didn’t stop my mum or her father telling her she was pretty, because like you I felt she needed to hear it from someone. BUT if I was going to give her a compliment, it was unlikely to be one focused on her looks.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Joanne!
Oh this is a brilliant piece. I’m inspired to write a response! As a mother of four daughters I tread this path every day, have watched people’s reactions with a mixture of horror and anxiety when they see my four little blonde girls. And everything is coloured by our own experiences of growing up under the male gaze. Can’t wait for part 2 x
It's a minefield, all this. I don't have kids but am aware of the emphasis placed on physical appearance, which is as old as the hills. I'm 50 now but when I was at school I was always being told I was ugly and fat (those specific words) because I was tall for my age and had started menstruating at nine. I was full of shame. At Sixth Form and Uni it was no issue, but when I became a teacher I saw it happening all over again. In the context of something I was teaching, I do remember saying to classes that all young people are beautiful, whether they think they are or not, simply because of their potential and wholesomeness. They looked at me as though I was mad, and I could tell they weren't really buying it. But I have never forgotten the lines from "Everybody's Free (to wear sunscreen): "Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth, oh, never mind
You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth
Until they've faded, but trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back
At photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now
How much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked
You are not as fat as you imagine"
Who of us doesn't look at photos of ourselves when we were young and think we didn't look so bad after all?
So so true, Anita. Thanks for sharing those words. Funny when you say the kids in class weren’t buying it! 😆… I remember my mum telling me how she spent her whole life looking back at photographs and thinking she looked beautiful, but never thinking it at the time the photo was taken. I thought that was really sad and vowed not to do the same — but of course I did!!!